Albert Einstein

"There are two ways two live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

All I want is to be a better person and grow old with no regrets

together we're heavy

greyscale version of one of my blind contours.

back here after short hiatus! not a lot has happened, aside from sushi feasts and an overdoze of yoguro. prep boards were submitted today! i can't believe this is all happening, being in j2, doing this entire coursework thing, assembling prep boards. i went slightly high from the excitement of sticking everything down, drawings i've made from way back, recalling how i first started out. FUN FUN FUN i want to extract all the goodness out of 2009 only the good shtuff plz!!!! also, ch@tting with saniah was gr8. talking to her has always been way too easy. :>

but in the end everyone ends up alone.

what happens when "wheel of fortune" is on and you are bored shitless (ironic, since there is so much to do)

this is my bed. i live here

more than who we are

i wish i could ignore the nagging sounds of BCM crying for attention. because i don't show them any (much). because they suck. because i suck at them. this is definitely going down in estella ng history. "how BCM ruined my life" i wish i could just leave for awhile. not having to go to school would be the sweetest dream. i forgot how much i used to love the goo goo dolls. me and char used to buy the albums for each other, johnny rzeznick and his guitar with the yellow post-it. whatever. i need to unravel myself. HORRIBLE HORRIBLE! it is only may. 

i don't know (you) anymore.

don't sweat the small stuff

inspiration is everywhere. inspiration is johnny flynn, french onion soup, 0.03 COPIC multiliner, prune-faced cleaning lady, cucumber green nail vita. inspiration is my mother's Mole, my sister's retarded fringe and the smell of my watercolour palette. inspiration is heaven sent! it is stored in my muji notebook, pink post-its, phone, cluttered desk, toiletries kit, Black File, massive ziplock bags and in my thumping heart. 

RISE 

UP 

WITH 

FISTS!!!!!!! 

Thank You

I had a smashing birthday. My best friends and family made me feel on top of the world. The (delicious/perfectly hatched) surprises, the sweet messages and hand-written letters with the most uplifting words, the laughter and the feasting. Not a dull moment! I couldn't have wished for more and I am truly, truly blessed. 

hello, may the 14th

certain i heard His voice this afternoon, as i was sitting near the children's books section, drawing on top of a purple stool. it was so surreal. i felt His Love, a Love so overwhelming i was momentarily breathless. my heart was thudding although it was silent all around. 

i have always wondered, what was it about art?? that made me love it so whole-heartedly. that each moment spent absorbed in a piece brings me unimaginable excitement, joy and... peace. 

and sometime ago this was revealed to me- art brings me to my Father. 

my art isn't mine, it's His. His to own. 

throughout the day this verse has been subconsciously flashing across my mind, Ecclesiastes 3:11. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. 

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

and today i was reminded that there is nothing more i can do but have Faith. Faith in my God, who will take me through ALL things and whose name is higher than all other names. complete surrender.

no fear. 

"These are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than this."

WHAT IS UP. 

i think i am turning massive (size-wise). it is true, gill and i have moved on from one dollar blue plate kakiage to greater things in life. how about that afternoon when i had major tiong bahru fishball craving in the middle of SEA art history and everyone ignored me??! also, i think i have a lot of wasabi in my system now... oh, and today i ate sausage mcmuffin and green curry. 

SINCE WHEN!? this is all too shocking for me.

on sunday the lot of us went to zouk flea, and i was freaking excited, couldn't sleep properly the night before thinking it hahhahhah ok not so good to say. FUN FUN FUN i blew every cent and am severely in debt. not so cool, estella.

BIO SPA TMR I CAN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER THE PROCEDURE. :-(

i think my favourite part is the safety precautions! 

deep down in my soul

so fine

above all, i have the best family ever. between the lot of us, there is no pretense, no judgement, it is never awkward, there is no "if", no hesitation. none of that polite smiling crap, or long pauses. or silence. i am me, a hundred percent. 

.....i love them to death!!!!

"Today I want to say this: Take your time. Tell them how you feel. Be open and honest. Say it to their face and not behind their backs. Don’t think too much. Let the fear go. Don’t let your insecurities control you. You are more than fine. You are exquisite. People will always judge you. Ignore it. We don’t all live by the same moral code. Let people be themselves as long as they let you be yourself."

Too much has happened.

I will be 18 in a week.

A Haiku, and a drawing

May has descended
My current Saturation
Our monochrome dreams

I leave you with this:

done early last month.

bidding april goodbye!
goodbye!

With every stroke. Every curve. Hands.
Love will come through.