mooved

once again, thanks to gill for introducing me to the wonderz of tumblr. see you there bebehz

http://thesoftestvoice.tumblr.com/

so is it me or do my cousins get more massive each weekend!

what is this, no break after common tests!? ridikulous but i can't wait for h3 to end, the thought is gnawing at the back of my mind I THINK JULY WILL BE GREAT. a month of coursework alongside other school shite. i will be less cranky for sure. oggay can sundays be any more awkward? on friday we took neoprints and spent great lengths of time laughing, fouls of waitresses! thinking about my ear makes me sad. 

rrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ain't applied science, you little 

why? when these strings tug with unequal strength you disappear right next to me you are not. 

a snug fit with a general rhythmic pattern i have grown to treasure (measure)

the aged ones are firm in place, here to stay. 

let's keep these dreadful feelings at bay?

peacebone

i bet the monster was a-happy when we made him a maze

hi hi hi hi hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 

july

after CTs i shall watch the whole of big bang theory season 2, garden state, go to muji, basheer, fancy paper, little india, MAKE THINGS, bubble bath, fix watch strap, paint, stone, write, rollerblade, deerhunter, meet up with old friends! moar! can't wait! i want all of penny's clothes esp her sweaters 

i think my singing is starting to get on lj's nervz 

hee hee

i think i have an older sister. it sure seems like it! she pays for me when she's in a good mood and gives me sound Life Advice. so glad that at the end of the day, we feel for each other deep deep. studying really hasn't been that torturous. i've been blessed with kind study buddies! the fast food is killing me but the company makes up for it. i think i could keep this up for pretty long, in the strangest of ways i'm actually enjoying this... :) grateful to people who genuinely care, i can see it in their extra sparkly eyes. some things have returned to the way they always were. this brings alot of comfort to me, because for the longest time i thought i'd lost it forever. it must be a God thing. i read my sec 2 diary last night, that was entertaining! the orange ink was frustrating to look at. the three of us have been having tv parties every night, daddy fats had a field day at the supermart last night and bought a gazillion packets of chips and other junk. it's been so much funnn and i love coming home each day to write, having me time and God time and time with friends. also, i actually have ca$h in my wallet! so many things to carry out after this round of exams, i've made these promises which i hope will last. most of all, i can't wait to get back to my art. fingers feel uneasy without the grasp of copic markers.

take heart, friends. everything will be OK. 

heart it races

be gone, common tests, be gone! 

i thank God for revealing more of His plans to me each day. 

when the world zigs, i'll zag! 

sea monuments

this week was henry park week! i did some serious catching up with em chew, and char's grad party was oh so sweet aww loved it! we also did many artist collabs hahaha it was fun, because our styles totally fuse together in perfect harmony~ 

ok bottomline i never get sick of these guys! and i am so proud of each and every one of them. especially char, tonight.

Precious

Ask me about my Maker. I will have so much to tell you because He has been Amazing. Has always been.

Spaceship

MUCHO PHUN!

there is so much to life these days. i likey!!!!!!! :)

2009 is really starting to grow on me, friends 

i have these dreams only my King can fulfill

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

- Romans 8:28

I LUB ORGANIC CHEMISTRY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

chumpion

i had breakfast for supper! only a couple of days left to the june holidays. NO IDEA how i am going to make it out of CTs alive; strategizing is futile, art is too fun to resist, time and i are not friends. will be needing A LOT of prayer!!!!

p.s. to the lady in the ridiculous purple polka dotted shimmery nightie: I LOVE YOU (much more than you know)

O BUMMER! Zombie phone. fancy papers CLOSED, i lost my chapstick, 2007 brushables have all dried up! i am moneyless :( :( :( :( :( :(

I AM IN A RACE AGAINSHT TIME. 

This wild electricity

Made static by industry

Like a bird in an aviary

Singing to the sky

Just singing to be set free

'rent-free weekend! 

i can't find my phone!!!!! again. sry if i've been uncontactable 

hello i'm your ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!

hahahaha today i actually watched a pen deplete itself of ink, slowly through the course of the day. ok make that quickly

and we will all float on okkkkkk

why are we so darned trivial?

did you see the words

blading phun

some things are just beyond my reach. most times, it is easier to grin and bear it. suck it up, estella!

other times it is difficult trying to pretend like this doesn't bug me 

i think it really irks me when people leave their true selves behind, forget who they are deep down and get caught up in the chase. who is competing any way

0n my 0wn 2 f33t i love the silence

Albert Einstein

"There are two ways two live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

All I want is to be a better person and grow old with no regrets

together we're heavy

greyscale version of one of my blind contours.

back here after short hiatus! not a lot has happened, aside from sushi feasts and an overdoze of yoguro. prep boards were submitted today! i can't believe this is all happening, being in j2, doing this entire coursework thing, assembling prep boards. i went slightly high from the excitement of sticking everything down, drawings i've made from way back, recalling how i first started out. FUN FUN FUN i want to extract all the goodness out of 2009 only the good shtuff plz!!!! also, ch@tting with saniah was gr8. talking to her has always been way too easy. :>

but in the end everyone ends up alone.

what happens when "wheel of fortune" is on and you are bored shitless (ironic, since there is so much to do)

this is my bed. i live here

more than who we are

i wish i could ignore the nagging sounds of BCM crying for attention. because i don't show them any (much). because they suck. because i suck at them. this is definitely going down in estella ng history. "how BCM ruined my life" i wish i could just leave for awhile. not having to go to school would be the sweetest dream. i forgot how much i used to love the goo goo dolls. me and char used to buy the albums for each other, johnny rzeznick and his guitar with the yellow post-it. whatever. i need to unravel myself. HORRIBLE HORRIBLE! it is only may. 

i don't know (you) anymore.

don't sweat the small stuff

inspiration is everywhere. inspiration is johnny flynn, french onion soup, 0.03 COPIC multiliner, prune-faced cleaning lady, cucumber green nail vita. inspiration is my mother's Mole, my sister's retarded fringe and the smell of my watercolour palette. inspiration is heaven sent! it is stored in my muji notebook, pink post-its, phone, cluttered desk, toiletries kit, Black File, massive ziplock bags and in my thumping heart. 

RISE 

UP 

WITH 

FISTS!!!!!!! 

Thank You

I had a smashing birthday. My best friends and family made me feel on top of the world. The (delicious/perfectly hatched) surprises, the sweet messages and hand-written letters with the most uplifting words, the laughter and the feasting. Not a dull moment! I couldn't have wished for more and I am truly, truly blessed. 

hello, may the 14th

certain i heard His voice this afternoon, as i was sitting near the children's books section, drawing on top of a purple stool. it was so surreal. i felt His Love, a Love so overwhelming i was momentarily breathless. my heart was thudding although it was silent all around. 

i have always wondered, what was it about art?? that made me love it so whole-heartedly. that each moment spent absorbed in a piece brings me unimaginable excitement, joy and... peace. 

and sometime ago this was revealed to me- art brings me to my Father. 

my art isn't mine, it's His. His to own. 

throughout the day this verse has been subconsciously flashing across my mind, Ecclesiastes 3:11. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. 

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

and today i was reminded that there is nothing more i can do but have Faith. Faith in my God, who will take me through ALL things and whose name is higher than all other names. complete surrender.

no fear. 

"These are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than this."

WHAT IS UP. 

i think i am turning massive (size-wise). it is true, gill and i have moved on from one dollar blue plate kakiage to greater things in life. how about that afternoon when i had major tiong bahru fishball craving in the middle of SEA art history and everyone ignored me??! also, i think i have a lot of wasabi in my system now... oh, and today i ate sausage mcmuffin and green curry. 

SINCE WHEN!? this is all too shocking for me.

on sunday the lot of us went to zouk flea, and i was freaking excited, couldn't sleep properly the night before thinking it hahhahhah ok not so good to say. FUN FUN FUN i blew every cent and am severely in debt. not so cool, estella.

BIO SPA TMR I CAN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER THE PROCEDURE. :-(

i think my favourite part is the safety precautions! 

deep down in my soul

so fine

above all, i have the best family ever. between the lot of us, there is no pretense, no judgement, it is never awkward, there is no "if", no hesitation. none of that polite smiling crap, or long pauses. or silence. i am me, a hundred percent. 

.....i love them to death!!!!

"Today I want to say this: Take your time. Tell them how you feel. Be open and honest. Say it to their face and not behind their backs. Don’t think too much. Let the fear go. Don’t let your insecurities control you. You are more than fine. You are exquisite. People will always judge you. Ignore it. We don’t all live by the same moral code. Let people be themselves as long as they let you be yourself."

Too much has happened.

I will be 18 in a week.

A Haiku, and a drawing

May has descended
My current Saturation
Our monochrome dreams

I leave you with this:

done early last month.

bidding april goodbye!
goodbye!

With every stroke. Every curve. Hands.
Love will come through.

Like it's the Last
Like it's the Last
Like it's the Last

The Clap

...And in no time. HI. I am on my way to becoming a full-fledged Introvert. I feel it, is that a bad thing

Talking stinks. It is easier to get things down on paper, inked, anyways.
I spent my weekend (extended) perfecting the Tune Out technique. It is always better to assume the good intentions of others.
I will never keep the thanks. I am in no position to.
And. Coldplay. Coldplay, wine gums and my magic markers.
Magic markers, and Faith. Lots of Faith.

Her morning elegance she wears

hell yeah, i think i could do this for forever.

And with this scene came Confirmation.

I have been feeling somewhat inspired this entire week, itching to get started on a new piece but just couldn't. One million biological things to shove into my head, polymerase this and that, trying as best as i could to picture these processes... it was difficult. Science is truly a strain for me. 

The other day Ms Chan asked me "Why the sudden switch to murky colours?" I guess unknowingly, unwillingly I am mourning the loss of __________. Shut up

All we can do is keep breathing

School is stifling, to say the least. Eating Cai Fan excites me... how sick is that?? 

People literally Come and Go. I have lost some, now what's a few more???

Read my mind

AVOID AT ALL COSTS

i can't wait for next year, i will be able to say that i hate teenage girls. everything is so overrated. 

the false contender

 

messing around with my cheapo watercolour set i bought ages ago, throwing, splashing paint and i love the unpredictable nature of this medium. you never know what to expect. i love it. thinking of investing in new tubes and brushes (i threw away most). i haven't felt this excited about painting before, using acrylic last may for UOB really bored me to death. have a great weekend

GP lessons are so inspirational if you know what i mean

this has been one of the worst weeks ever, horrifying to the max. so many firsts, but not the good kind. winning tap tap revenge, magic markers, surprise $$$$, threadless shirts, sushi- kakiage one dollar!, good company, great fellowship. these are perhaps my only comforts and i want to forget everything else that happened in the last five days. ok?

LITTLE MISS I-HATE-BORING-ASSHOLES-WHO-DONT-GIVE-A-SHIT-BECAUSE-I-ALWAYS DID

ENOUGH!!!!!

Adonai

Ever I will see only You will I adore

Glorify my Lord, only You will I serve

For the world will fade away

Still my song to You remains

Only You will I adore

W-W-WOW i am so happy its the long weekend!

just had zestin&lava over to do funfair stuff, we were painting with poster colours/laughing at zestin being ultimate klutz and sweeping paint with his hands/very cool penknives. they are so cute, really. 

PEE DUB results are out and i am rlly proud of us fittimates! lisa will be weeping tears of joy!

watercolour workshop has been so enjoyable. it is like therapy, being there i feel much more at ease with myself and i love mr dollah's 'tude towards life. (unlike certain someones i know) 

...and snap when class ends, and we wash our palettes and i stare at my drying soaked tissue with one million colours and step out into the dark, in a daze and everything just slows down again, turns boring, my heart beats a little slower.

oh but kevin's PSP game is so fun? LUXOR: PHARAOH'S CHALLENGE. i suck at naruto and audition so this game makes me feel a whole lot better about my gaming skills. except the egyptian music makes my ears stand a little, speaking of which my ear is pussing!!! it hurts. 

i can't remember what else happened this week, besides sushi buffet and me running home in the pouring rain, very mtv style, with a tubby secondary school running beside me. that is all i remember. happy easter, my friends! i will be shopping with my mum tomorrow, finally hittin' the shops! estella has not done this in quite some time. have fun and be merry!

I miz this

How are you guys? 

Lotsa Luv,

Estella

Psalms 145:13-19

"Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, 

and your dominion endures through all generations.

The Lord is faithful to all His promises

and loving toward all He has made.

The Lord upholds all who fall

and lifts up all who are bowed down.

The eyes of all look to You,

and You give them their food at the proper time.

You open Your hand

and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

The Lord is righteous in all His ways

and loving toward all He has made.

The Lord is near to all who call on Him,

to all who call on Him in truth.

He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;

He hears their cry and saves them."

He could not have been clearer. 

(Lord, let my lifesong sing to You)

(i think it always will)

Some distance is good. 

Trying to find the perfect match between pretentious and pop. 

I have been thinking about... carpets and sand

S l i p p i n g

Chocolate solves everything. 

.........HAPPY SUNDAE

AWWW i love dressy bessy!

i am her last.fm top listener ^^

my contacts are dry, i need sleep

online shopping/shopping for someone is as exciting as the real thing

can't describe how assuring the Lord is

love sunday nites when me and LJ hang/study/eat

fried food tastes better on the weekends

BABY LIZARDS IN MY ROOM

CA$H FLOW PROBLEMS RETURN

why am i always short of money???????

jeux d' enfants is another perfect movie 

I WILL ENJOY SCHOOL I WILL

So I wait upon You now,

With my hands released to You

Where a little Faith's enough

To see mountains lift and move

And I wait upon You now, 

Dedicated to Your will

To this Love that will remain

A Love that never fails

Note to self #2: List of Negativz

- Never do Math in ball point

- Stop misplacing post-its/Find timetable (!)

- It is OK to make new friends

- Don't keep staring at SBH men (Shiny Bald Headed Men)/ 

- Stop rating mouths/lipzz

- Stop pretending it isn't awkward when it clearly is

- REMEMBER: you are still subscribing to Hongkong time (minus 1)

- You are never Alone. Deuteronomy 31:8

- Quit listening to the Distillers

- Stop editing your stupid Wedding Playlist 

- 4 Flickr accounts a day MAX. Curb Flickr addiction asap

- Sleep by 11:30pm SLEEP MOAR

"For the resolutions of the just depend rather on the grace of God than on their own wisdom; and in Him they always put their trust, whatever they take in hand.
For man proposes, but God disposes; neither is the way of man in his own hands"

This morning, I ran the most Epic 2.4km. 

ONE beehim running alongside me, in her school uniform, clapping her hands wildly and shouting my name and telling me to think about happy things. "FOOD! LUNCH! SUSHIII" "CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC, ESTELLA!" 

Gill Avril and Bush running back and forth and across the field to key junctures, waving their hands madly and jumping about going "RUUUUN BABY RUUUUUUN". Gill teaching me how to tighten shoelaces before and them rehearsing their cheers, finding songs with the word "run" to add to the Playlist... SKIPPING BREAK FOR ME

...Amanda Grace and Samarth who got me through the last 80metres as I was all ready to drop dead. The whole time all I could do was smile and the run became one thousand times less painful...... one thousand times better bcos it just didn't feel like I was the only one running. It was OUR race!!

TO MY MOST AWESOME FRIENDS, seriously touched, you guys you make me happy!!!!!! LOVE YOU 4 LYFE :) :) 

Life Lesson #3

ESTELLA IS ALL ABOUT THE WRIST MOVEMENT.

cosy in the rocket

Awakeningz. I refuse to grow up. There is one tiny knot in my heart. Tomorrow, more revelations. In a flash I am caught somewhat off guard but in Faith I am certainly most certain. You may look back someday I won't. Perspectiv. Shimmy sparkle. In every soul there lies. Kakiage double blow! Godiva drops. And lastly something kkool "really, God, really?" "yes, you". In the chaos, in confusion, I know You're sovereign still.

Oh I'd rather go and journey where the diamond crest is flowing and
Run across the valley beneath the sacred mountain and
Wander through the forest
Where the trees have leaves of prisms and break the light in colors
That no one knows the names of

hand me down

Hi I am grappling
I am unable to come to terms with this concept of Ageing. As much as I wish this wasn't true- I hate change. I hate that my grandmother turned 69 yesterday. She is Sixty-Nine. I hate that Yaya might be leaving us at the end of this year. It was yesterday when I was six, Deanna was four and we sang along to Brother Louie and Disco-danced. I hate that I don't journal anymore. I am no longer the fearless girl in surfshorts and gold-rimmed glasses. My hideous Jurassic Park bagpack with the flashing straplights I used to carry everywhere. What constants? I hate that time is flickering by. Am I Living. AM I LIVING. In every sense of the word

dyed in the wool

Fleet foxes and Mogwai shall get me through this sad, sad weekend. As we mourn the passing of the March holidays OH, and Sushi too!!! SUSHI IS DA BUSINESS. Cousins are helping me spring-clean my bedroom at the mo. I have lived in my bed for the past three days, literally, only getting up to use the toilet/eat Koko Krunch/watch Ellen (only the choicest show in the world). THE MOTLEY CRUE RETURNS TOMORROW. HUZZAH!!

Dear Estella,

Remember, those spaces, the in-between period, just before rubberbands when you could stick a straw through and that became the sort of secret passageway for fluids? The holes that made you look really stupid yet you know better is to come, that eventually you will be left with the straightest set of teeth?



Finally, it will all be perfect.

you put me in a magic position

i love this song so much!!!
anyway this morning my sister reminded me... i am STILL a fan of youtube????
apparently it is undeleteable. OH, GROSS!!!

modern nature

1. i am sitting here, with 23 minutes of battery life left and holding in my pee. 

2. i watched the most beautiful movie today. paris je t'aime ONE MILLION STARS!! 

3. if i like the soundtrack, i will almost always love the movie. even instrumentals, like devotchka and yann tiersen. in summary bad music = forgettable movie

4. the facial feature that strikes me most is... the mouth. nice mouth = good looking person

5. i spent my tuesday with avril. we talked about all sorts of things and it was probably the honest i have ever been in months, the deepest i have been in a long long while. i like. 

6. realized i have grown numb to certain aspects of my life. frenz4eva = bullshit

7. it is nice sleeping opposite from how you are supposed to. i have been sleeping this other way for a year now

8. i am most irritated/frustrated when i have no inspiration, or when i make pieces which do not excite/please me. kind of like NOW!!

9. when i use my cassis rose body mist i feel happier, fluffier, prettier already hahaha

10. ok last thing: i just remembered how much fun i had helping arthi draw in a puttu on her forehead with a black marker during math lecture last week!

MARCH HOLS AWESOME

THE MOST EVIDENT UTENSIL IS NONE OTHER THAN A PENCIL!!!!!!!

if we can land a man on the moon

one month ago, when i still had blue thumbs. i have since scratched the nail polish out so clean nails! BUT. i miss social interaction. nowadays, there is an increasing distance.

BUT!!! we have been eating sushi so often. i actually now really really like kakiage. and handrolls make my life Complete. and, art. and laughing. sushi + art + laughing = estella has a good life 

PRADEEP S/O MURUTHI!! BLUE CORAL OREO

p.s. i hope birds don't piss on our portrait day drawings over the holidays

canopies and grapes

thursdays are ORRSUM. i am soaking up every bit of thursday nite!! today i had my first h1 chem test and i spent a good part of the week freaking out about it, don't know why. before i spoke to anyone i got that he or she to ask me an organic chem question first like "how do you differentiate alkenes from alcohols"???? or "KCN gives you what???" i got bee to test me the whole of math lecture today, and this morning as i was drinking chocolate nestum. and right now i think friends who don't take chem (i.e. gillian daniel/yonniboy) are actually familiar with halogenoalkanes the triiodomethane test and more things like that! i think gill is not bad at chem now. except she asked me why H2O(g) is possible and i was like, "steam" and at first she had difficulty pronouncing "triiodomethane" but later it was all good. i hope i do ok and make these people proud!!! hahaha. ok got to bathe asap, today ms lu showed us this sekret store in a sekret room in the ceramics room i NEVER knew existed in four years. i got trapped in cobweb. there were works from 1980 something. and today, gill toh and i hung up our portrait day drawings. we coloured in nail polish and got high from nail polish fumes!!!!! 

the men who live upstairs

i had to send my eastpak for washing bcos last thursday i sat on my banana (it was in the front pocket) and it got squished and the juice went all over my bag... nasty. but! just now i was wondering why there were chocolate bits stuck to my worksheets and guess what! crushed hello pandas at the bottom of my bag!! annoying! oh today i had fun e-boxing (e for estella hur hur hur) and sushi-feastin'! and today my banana was only a little slightly squashed so i actually managed to eat it. porridge was boring. every thing from that stall is halfway. not just horfun, gill! 

one thing i miss: postcard/sticker swapping. i also miss rollerblading.

ok ASIDE FROM that i am rlly happy!!! finally managed to get that sufjian stevens song i've always always wanted. and johnny flynn and emmy the great, those 2 didn't work out previously. sufjian stevens always makes me cry... but it is a good thing. ha ha. o recently, i have been into old stuff like yo la tango and david byrne.. he is old right? new favourite band is definitely someone still loves you boris yeltsin. 

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG so my mum was using my facebook account happily looking at this and that and this and that and we were laughing and i just took the computer back... and HORROR OF HORRORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHE MADE ME A FAN OF YOUTUBE

DJKSNCIJCNJNCNXCNJXNCSLNCKXNCKXNCONXOCNXC i am now a social........ loser........ 

thanks alot, mother! (she is still denying it.)

2 Chronicles 20:36

"Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's."

HI A LEVELZ

My Saviour, 

You never let me go. 

And in Your hands, my future's brighter. 

Nehemiah 8:10

"The joy of the Lord is your strength."

This week, I found more reasons to Smile! 

Still waiting on His promises,

Estella

dear self

the idea is to stop having these silly expectations, stop dreaming, fix your eyes on permanent things- the ones that truly matter, have Faith, keep truckin' on

we are beautiful, we are doomed

AT PRESENT LIFE IS PRETTY AWFUL 

my chemistry issues are Ruining me

have been stoning excessively

losing faith in Humanity

every thing (mostly school) seems so........... meaningless.......... am not sure how long more i can take this........ help

i spend 3/4 of my allowance on film. so i am poor galz :(

my sister celebrated her 16th on friday. i used up two packs of film. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE/ME

SRSLY!!!!!!!!!!?

the softest voice

i m hrdly a stdnt. bt i luv ths. i luv cmng hm t all my art and jst dng nthg bt ths all day lng i cld do ths forevr and ths is whn i m happiest, alwys ctch myslf smilng skrtly.... hummng t myslf and nt hvng a care in th wrld and sddnly evrythng makes snse, y knw? and in some strnge way i feel like i hve alrdy found myslf. i hve grwn. He is mst Amazng. like. WOW. tape art tmrrw! 

"we do not grow absolutely, chronologically. we grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. we grow partially. we are relative. we are mature in one realm, childish in another. the past, present and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. we are made up of layers, cells, constellations."

-anais nin

hi-lighter ffun

"what kind of life do you dream of? 

you're allergic to love"

fab 14th

Valentine's Day

starting from 2330hrs at The Cheese Prata Shop followed by mad screaming and phonecalls to lydiasooh and us heading to WCP in the dark. the flying fox was PHWOARRRRR! 

LYDDIE I WILL MISS YOU.

sea of love

by golly gosh this was such an awesome week. awesome everything!!!!!

my only regret is not having a camera with me to document these events

but fret not, our fujifilm instax minis are here! they are hot pink and will take over the world....

ok maybe not. BUT. i cannot wait to snapsnapsnap. 

you know what is scary? i might actually be starting to really... like school 

deviled eggs! 

can&cut!

silver mirror!

kakiage!

...walking! (eh san rmb our walking club)

HAHAHA! 

love is no big truth

i have new songs! kings of convenience, cat power, ra ra riot. opening new music makes me happy. I HAVE SO MUCH ART TO DO. AND so little time. 

PHWOARR 

is my new favourite word.

guided by voices

"I never sleep. I've never slept at all. I've never had a dream.

All of that could be true."

i think like ugo rondinone i have always been a surrealist, secretly

Isaiah 21:14

"For i am the LORD your God,

who churns up the sea so that its waves roar-

the Almighty is his name.

I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand-

I who set the heavens in place, 

who laid the foundations of the earth,

and who say to Zion, "You are my people."

stars and crosses, reasoning for losses

i need to feel MOTIVATED! DRIVEN! HYPED UP!!! 4 LYFE

ok oh my my i am lusting after life-after-A's when the year has barely started and i am already sinking in this pool of....... homework debt, still can not do one probability question and oh, today i realzied i have been doing a part of my vectors all wrongzzz SAD. i could totally do with some excitement in my life right now, like a replay of last thursday, or actually embarking on that coffee bean hunt with xiangbucks to the sahara desert... i need mustafa really badly, or chinatown is fine too just now we drove past and i saw all the tang yuan shops cute ah peks sitting by the steps. there is this whole world out there that could be MINE. in ten months' time. ten. can? now i need to start bluffing myself that night is young and i should probably open my bag and start on stupid PCR. oh i came home and  ate a quarter mini cup of roe ha haha how yummy i googled it and it is called tobiko. 

the invisible invasion

estella stop neglecting your blades

i want to go shopping

and we exhale

and we roll our eyes

and we do these things in unison

and woe is me

and woe is you

and woe is us, together

it's flattering but really

hit the heartbrakes, baby, you're driving me crazy.

the size of matchsticks the memory was emotional

i want to finish my "lovers who uncover" piece. today! me and sir farthi chapatti we went on an adventure, involving photocopying cards, india, chcolate sundae and our 22 dollar cabfare. plus side of today was that i got to do many !spontaneous! things. i thrive on such situations.... analyzing jon from top-to-toe (hair every where. i mean it) and issuing beauty sekrets, five of us watching the hairdresser perform and mow through his hair. amazing. 

choco plunge!!! we mourned the loss of chix&co from our lives. but we concluded it is the gravy which we miss. i have not tried the new jap food

today i thought i had left my socks + phone at home but turns out it was only my phone...... so i was so happy (that i could wear socks to school. turns out it rolled underneath the car seat) 

there was an ugly side to the day. let's just say that there are questions which i ask myself every single day and i am finally ready to convert this nagging question into less of a regret. but no one truly understands when i say that chemistry is so foreign to me, chemistry is THE bane of my existence. it is beyond the valley of puke city it is like the Orange in my life and i need it removed foreverrrrrrrrr

something to do with my hands

- i love chocolate wafer rolls

- my entire family is addicted to nutrisoy barley: TRY IT. it is good

- post-its over organizers

- broad markers and copics over zigs and brushables (shocking)

- today was cca fair and all we did was sit at our sad little amphi booth and draw on recycled brown paper- the kind used to wrap chicken rice- but the people that signed up were all scholars any way

- we haven't had art all this week: WHERE are our art teachers???

- i like my wallet v much though it causes much controversy hahaha

- i don't understand why everyone uses dot product to find perpendicular. i am the only one using cross

we made up your mind for you

i need to stick to my new year resolutions!!!

2009 shall be smashin'

the clockwise witness

absence makes the heart grow fonder

fonder makes the absence longer........ 

o, how i miss our yusheng parties and cny merry making

sunday nights always leave me very disappointed in life

i want to go to little india again, soon

little india (y)inspires me

hold on now youngster

hi friends new space

purely for whining purposes ha ha or at least for a good part, goodbye ATCakes

school has been........................ 

school has left me lost for words

i am wishing what you're wishing for

and i am hoping what you're hoping for